A Perfectly Plausible Romance
by MandyAnn
Summary: Remus thinks that books lie too much when it comes to love. He's feelings things for his friend Sirius, and he feels like it could never live up to the tragic and beautiful standards of fictional love. But dammit, that doesn't mean he's giving up.
1. Chapter 1

Sometimes I think that if I just march into the common room and tear my rather expensive school shirt off of my lanky torso, and profess undying love in prose, I can fall into Sirius's arms and all the other Gryffindors will cheer and then we'll live happily ever after. I told James about this particularly fantasy, and he expressed concern regarding the existence of my dangly bits, and told me that I read too much. I believe his exact words were "Honestly I'd be less concerned if you fantasized about shagging him like a normal person." Which I do fantasize about, those are just secret fantasies.

Sometimes I feel like Sirius and I are Iago and Amelia. He's Iago of course, playing all of his genius pranks that are maybe just a little cruel, but Amelia doesn't see that. She just sees her beloved..._husband_. Oh bugger. That bitch has all the luck.

"Moony, stop thinking." Sirius pushed my shoulder so that I became horizontal on the couch and then sat on the armchair. "Haha you're so easy to tip over." He laughed.

"Well I wasn't paying attention." I said, perhaps a little bitterly.

"You never are." He said. Yes I am, I'm just paying more attention to your cheekbones than your attempts at thwarting my vertical-ness.

"How was detention?" I changed the subject.

"James mouthed off to Filch. I reckon he'll be scrubbing floors for a few more hours. Skinny little tosser could use it." He flexed his arms and then smirked "You should think about getting more detentions, Rem. Your arms would thank you."

"My arms carry enough books, they simply _refuse _to have any significant mass." I said, pulling a chocolate bar out of my pocket, only to have it snatched away. "Oi! I need that! To add mass to my skinny arms, remember?" I waved my arms around like some sort of odd squid and then immediately regretted it. Sirius broke off a chunk and tossed it back to me.

"Where's Peter?"

"Sleeping, I expect." I said. It was rather early in the morning. I was only awake because I wanted to read in the few hours of peace that detention allotted for me.

"Fun." He rolled his eyes.

"I NEED LIQUOR!" Suddenly erupted from the portrait hole.

"Jamie, James James Jamesy _James_. How _spiffing_ to see you." Sirius jumped up from the chair and attacked James, punching him in the arms causing James to make agonized animal sounds and smack Sirius round the head. I just watched, mildly amused and even more mildly sympathetic.

"That fucking hurt, you twat!" James yelled. He was rather shouty this morning.

"Oh but James, all of your troubles are ending, as I have much firewhiskey and not enough liver to handle it all and-"

"Need I remind the two of you that's it's eight o'clock in the morning? I stood up and walked over to them, making a distinctly prefect face. Sirius looked like he was about to start spewing insults at me but James spoke first.

"Y'know Pads, our Moony is a smart one, we should listen to him more. Why drown our sorrows _now _as two lonely men, when we could round up a few birds and drown them _later_ as two strapping men."

The heel of my hand slammed into my forehead. I had just planned a party for them. Of course, it was a Saturday, so there would be a party whether I had suggested it or not, but perhaps if they had drunken themselves stupid in the morning they may not have had enough liquor left by the time sundown rolled around.

"Breakfast?" I sighed, exasperated. James slapped me on the back. "There's a good idea." So we went to breakfast, figuring that Peter would wake up and come find us eventually.

"Sirius I swear if you shoot one more spoonful of - PROT-" Too late. There was oatmeal on my chin "_Bloody fucking bugger fuck_." Sirius barked out a laugh that went on for so long that I wanted to break his ribs so that it would hurt to laugh.

"Is it just me or does Mafalda Hopkirk's skirt seem shorter today?" James said offhandedly, putting an end to the laughter and sending Sirius away from the table. He looked over at me through his glasses, finishing chewing the bacon in his mouth, and then with raised eyebrows said "You realize you're the only one he does that to?"

"Oh lucky me." I spat wiping gooey oats from my skin.

"Not even Peter." He added. "Hell, not even _Slytherins_."

"I'm sure this is a sign that I'm the prettiest girl in the whole of England, right?"

"Wrong."

"Lovely."

"I think." He paused to sip his coffee. He does things like that just to build up suspense, to be sure that his audience is on the edge of their seat. Which I was. "He's - er." He made air quotes with his fingers "Pulling your pigtails. Which doesn't make you the prettiest girl in the whole of England, that makes you his _favorite_ girl in the whole of England."

"It's my breasts isn't it? He simply cannot keep his eyes off of them." I said sarcastically.

"Nah, you've still got growing to do in that department young lady-"

"Her skirt is no shorter than it is always is!" Sirius said angrily. "And what about Remus being a young lady?"

"We were talking about my gorgeous breasts." I deadpanned.

"Oh but they're lovely." Sirius said, and he stood behind me and put his hands on my chest, making me jump. Of all the places he could touch me - he can probably feel my heart speeding up. "Bit boney." He added "I don't think they're meant to have bones."

"Well Moony's a special sort of girl. Just think, bones never sag." James pointed out, wisely. And it was as if saying something faux-wise had set off the real wisdom in him. "Tomorrow's the full moon isn't it?" Whisper.

"Yeah." I said. Sirius sat down next to me.

"I never asked. Do you feel it like - now?"

"Yeah." I repeated. And I did. I could feel it pulling on the water in my body, churning me, but at the same time it was like Sirius was doing the same thing and I wished that he could be more powerful than the moon but it wasn't even close. He grabbed my head unceremoniously, and pushed it onto his shoulder. Brilliant at comforting people, that Sirius. James winked at me while Sirius wasn't paying attention, and I wanted to flick him off, but then Sirius would ask what just happened.

"This angle makes it rather difficult to eat." I said, and Sirius released my head but I was full anyway. "Library." I said. James and Sirius both rolled their eyes, and Sirius said "Of course." Through a mouthful of oatmeal that had miraculously avoided both my face and the floor.

"Lupin!" I head as soon as I left the Great Hall.

"Oh, hullo, Severus." I'm nothing, if not polite.

"Which one of you?" He said, marching towards me apoplectically. "Which of you, charmed all of my pants to turn to strawberry jam when they touched me! I know it was one of you insufferable gits!"

I hadn't even been aware of this prank. "No idea." I said, as the politeness falls a bit when I've just been called an insufferable git. I didn't know why he was so mad, at least it was only his pants, if it had been his trousers he's have a bigger problem.

"I know you know Lupin!" I took out my wand just in case, because he was definitely on the edge of entering my personal space bubble. I decided being rude would be my best option. "Since James showed all of us the miserable state of your pants I would think you'd be glad for them to be something more pleasant." I twirled my wand between two fingers at my side while he decided what to do.

"Oi! James! You'll never guess who's found Remus for us!" I turned around and Sirius was coming up behind me.

"Oh look." Severus spat. "Your knight came to save you." I opened my mouth to talk but Sirius beat me to it.

"Remus can handle himself, he just doesn't get the joy out of it that I do. So. How about we show all of Hogwarts your...strawbeery jam." Sirius grinned evilly, and Severus recoilled.

"You!" He spat.

"Me. Me me me." He said confidently. "Moony, I believe you were on your way to the library." I took the hint and skittered off like a coward, but I know that Sirius gave me an excuse to leave because he didn't want me to have to feel like I wasn't being a good prefect. See no evil, hear no evil, keep the shiny badge. As I walked away, I heard James joining them, and then, when I was almost out of the first floor corridor, Lily, screaming a violent hex, almost definitely aimed at James.

I went to the library, and sat in the very back, thinking. I made a list of things.

Undeniable Truths

1.) I am attracted to Sirius Black.

2.) I am not in love with Sirius Black, it is just a crush.

3.) But it could easily go that way.

4.) Life is not like books, and no one wants me to bare my scrawny torso and profess things.

4.B) Nor any of my other (not scrawny) anatomical areas.

5.) This means that I am not straight.

6.) Lists are stupid.

7.) I wish I had some chapstick.

8.) Sirius is as straight as they come.

9.) James is an ally, utilize the ally.

10.) There is a party tonight at which I will be drunk.

11.) I have no control over what comes out of my mouth when I am drunk.

12.) And I don't mean sick. I mean words.

I sighed and read through my list, worrying at a strand of my hair. Tonight, I would buck up, be a man, and tell Sirius that over the past few weeks he's been beginning to appear more beautiful. But most certainly not in those words. All of my scrawny (and not scrawny) body parts would remain clothed. I would not tell Sirius anything involving the cursed L word, and I repeat, there would be no removal of clothes. Even if his reaction was a positive one, life is not like a book. In books, people tell each other how they feel and then make hot steamy love all night. Tonight would be nothing like that. I would tell him how I feel, and if he feels the same, we might make awkward not so steamy love after a few weeks of snogging.

"You're such a girl."

"NGGH." I yelped. "Don't. Do._ That_." I said rather too loudly to James.

"I'm an _ally_. Be kind to me." He said.

"This is humiliating."

"As it should be, dear Moony. Romance is always humiliating, if it wasn't Evans wouldn't have given me these lovely purple polkaots." I turned around and yes, James was covered in purple polkadots but I would not have called them lovely. Nor would I have called Evans curses an act act of love, but I didn't say this as it would crush his dear little heart.

"Oh I'm sure you'll be the life of the party tonight, looking as dashing as that."

"No. You will be."

"I am never the life of anything. I am dead and limp. Like a book."

"I've seen you when you get up in the morning, mate, not much limp about that."

"Change the subject please." I said, turning red.

"Okay, let's talk about Sirius."

"Let's not, if you do, he'll pop up out of nowhere because that's what happens every time either of you are mentioned." James threw my bag on the floor and sat in the chair it had occupied.

"Not true. Me and Sirius talk about you all the time and you never show u-"

"WHAT?" I said. "What do you talk about? What about me?"

"Merlin Moony, you really should've been born a girl."

"So you've told me. But anyway, answer me."

"Unfortunately I can't. As you and Sirius both trust me, I am limited in my matchmaking opportunities."

"Are you implying -"

"I'm not implying anything. I'm going to go to Quidditch practice." And the bastard got up and left.

"_BuggerFuck_." I said slamming my head on the table.

**Hallo there readers. **

**This story is already completely written in three parts (I'm terrible at pushing myself through to finish things so I made sure I was done before posting the first chapter.)**

**Please review, and I will post chapter 2 when I feel that there is some er...anticipation? **

**So if you want chapters 2 and 3, I'd reccomend you review (I'm such a terrible person...)**

**Hope you enjoyed it. **


	2. Chapter 2

About three and a half weeks ago, I had one hell of a full moon. I was wrapped in enough gauze to make four pinatas out of, and I hurt everywhere. I was lying on the sofa in front of the common room fire. I was thinking asbout things like quantum mechanics, and really, what would would the world be like if Shakespeare had never lived? And I was almost at that part where the clear images in your head start to blur into half-dreams when I felt some one else join me on the sofa, in the middle, just in front of my...middle.

"Oi, you asleep?" Sirius whispered.

"I was. Thanks, though." I opened my eyes but stayed perfectly still. The only reason I was still on the sofa was because it would hurt a lot to get to the dormitory.

"Sorry." He said "Does it hurt bad?"

"Bad_ly_." I ammended. "No. I'm lying perfectly still to see how long I can keep it up." He frowned.

I felt one of his hands snake under my top half, and he gingerly lifted me into a seated position. It was astoundingly painless. He gently let his arm drape around my shoulder and he pulled me into the crook of his neck. His free hand ghosted over my forehead, pushing my hair about. A puff of breath that I didn't know I had been holding fell out of me in a long sigh. I felt the muscles of his shoulders gliding under his skin while he got comfortable. When he spoke I felt his Adam's apple.

"I wish I could make you feel better." He said. I opened my eyes and saw his the skin of his neck, usually dangerously pale, it was washed in firelight, soft orange and beautiful,.

"Just keep stroking my hair like that." I moved my head up just a bit, knocking it into his hand like a cat. "That's working." I felt him chuckle deep in his chest.

"Hey, um, this never happened." Some of the warmth was gone from his voice, and something in me sunk and I didn't know why. "It's just -"

"Yeah." I croaked. "I understand." And I did. I understood his reasons. What I didn't understand was why I couldn't empathize with them. I wanted to fall asleep like this, to stay here 'till morning when he'd nudge me awake and tell me it's time for breakfast.

That morning I woke up on the sofa alone. There was atleast a note Spell-O-Taped to my forehead.

_Moony - _

_Had to go to bed. Sofa made back hurt. Couldn't wake you. Like a rock, you were. Would've tackled you - thought it would hurt too much just now. _

_-Pads. _

That morning when I saw Sirius saunter into breakfast my stomach contracted uncomfortably, and the previous night was all I could think about. Even though it never happened. Eventually, days went by, and the gauze came off and the bruises had healed, and everything was just normal again. I started to wonder whether I had invented it all in my head - but no. There was a note. I couldn't have imagined it, because there was evidence. I took to carrying that note around with me, making sure that I wasn't just convincing myself of a fantasy. It honestly happened. For the most part, he acted as he always had. He concentrated more of his inter-Marauder pranks on me than usual, but I didn't really think anything of it. I was too caught up in my own buzzing head, too focused on what each twitch of his fingers would mean to even think of considering that they might _actually mean something_.

My stomach continued it's habit of reacting tensely around him, but that wasn't the only part that was having reactions. I tried very very hard to make James' copy of Busty and Bewtitched to do something, but alas, they didn't have dipping Adams apples, or mango-sized biceps, or...Ahem.

It didn't take long for me to start pouring the things in my head into James.

"I think I fancy Sirius." I said. He had been blowing bubbles. I'm not entirely sure why. My confession caused him to inhale soap. I openly laughed and pointed while he sputtered.

"Okay." He shook his head as if it would get rid of the taste one last time. "_Okay_. Stop laughing now. What did you say?" Between chortles I repeated myself.

"Are you ser-" He stopped. "No. This is no time for that joke. D'you mean it?"

"I think I do." I said, staring down at the book in my lap. James' eyes were sort of wide, but he didn't look nearly as disgusted as he had when he tasted soap. As a matter of fact, he didn't look disgusted at all.

"Brilliant." He said.

"You don't think it's-"

"What, you're expecting a lecture on the merits of the ladyfolk and the terrors of dangly bits?"

"Er-"

"Oh ye of little faith. What must you think of me?" He said dramatically. "'S your choice, or - not, as the case may be. I don't have a choice with fancying Evans, so I reckon you can't help it either." He shrugged

"Thank you James." I was a little taken a back. "That means a lot to me." Surprisingly, he didn't laugh at me for being so gushy.

"No problem mate. You do realize though" He paused to put all of his effort into smiling evilly "Now it is my duty is assure that you and Pads fall in love and fill this place with thousands of slightly rabid puppies?"

"Which side of the family are you insinuating is rabid?"

"The Black side, of course, my dear Moony, I would never imply such things of your noble loins."

"My loins aren't very noble."

"I reckon in Sirius' eyes they might be."

"Okay, let's drop the noble loins."

"They should've dropped a few years ago, actually." I smacked him round the head.

James took to grinning conspiratorally at me night and day. I knew he meant well, but, my deepest sympathies to the poor Potters. I can't imagine his fervor in a domestic setting. Somtetimes I would get a bit paranoid, thinking that he had told Sirius. I was certain - no I _am still _certain- that the only reason they haven't magicked themselves into one brain is because fetishes for conjoined twins aren't running rampant nowadays. I really did try to remind myself that Sirius wasn't the sort to go all awkward and adolescent when faced with an admirer like most would. Sirius would simply smile, say something arrogant about how no one could resist his charms forever, and everything would return to normal. Still, if I thought about the possibility, a black hole would burst into existence in my throat, and pull all of the oxygen out of me, drawing my stomach up my esophagus. And then my brain experienced the joys of combustion. This is called a panic attack, and I do not reccomend them.

Sirius was quite a bit like he used to be, before he was disowned. He was very guarded. Even though we were his best friends, he wouldn't talk to any of us any more than he would talk to some poor unsuspecting Hufflepuff. Or maybe it was just when I was there. I tried, I really did. As much as I was felt like insects were shagging all over my innards, I knew that this was just a stupid crush. And I'll be damned if I let it ruin anything.

"Sirius." He looked up from his book. Sirius is reading a book. Not a picture book, it's definitely got all manner of big words in. Something is wrong.

"Wotcher."

"Are you alright?" I asked. "You seem..._off_, lately."

"Fine." He looked back down at the book. _'Is this about the night that never was?' _I wanted to ask, but I didn't. Because if it wasn't, that would signify that I was thinking about it too much.

"Are you sure? I mean..." I sighed. "If you want me to shut up just tell me."

"Moony." He looked up, and actually smiled, which was definitely not what I was expecting. "_Shut up_."

"Right. Yes. Brilliant. Right-"

"Shut up, does not mean speak in one word sentences. It means _shut up_."

"_Right_." I said again. I pulled out a book and read next to him. Sometimes I could feel his eyes dragging off of the boring pages of his boring book and landing on me. But that was something that always happened. He would look at anything rather than a book.

I spent about a week behaving, well, behaving quite a bit like Sirius. I tried to apply logic to all these things. (_Hint: It doesn't work_) I couldn't figure out why him being a rude bastard only made me want to be around him more, and why it ached so much when I caught him staring into the fire with miserable eyes. That second one, I reasoned, was because I, Remus John Lupin, am an impeccable friend. But still, I couldn't figure out these things going on in me. I could hardly accept what they meant. Surely I wasn't gay. Wasn't there enough about me that's just bloody odd already? Oh yes, instead of being a _chocoholic-werewolf-nerd_, let's just add an extra scoop of weird and make it _gay-chocoholic-werewolf-nerd_. But then I just wanted chocolate icecream because my inner monologue used the word 'scoop'

I took to slamming my face onto any hard working surface that was in front of me whenever I started to think about it too hard. Sirius, over time, started behaving more normally. But that was when the 'pigtail pulling', as James called it, started.

"My dear Moony, if you would be so kind as to stop slamming that precious brain of yours into desks." James said, looking up from his charms essay. "Who_ever_ is going to help me write essays when your brain becomes adequately tenderized and slips out your ears to be munched by Hippogriffs and Slytherins."

"Can't." I said into the cool wood against my forehead. "Brain needs punishment."

"But your brain is my greatest asset." Sirius said, coming in from behind me. "How else could my abstract brilliance be formulated into essays?"

"That's what I said!" James. My head flew off of the desk.

"I take it you're done being dark and mysterious then?" I asked.

"Oh no, never. It's why people fall for me." He said sitting down. _Oh if only you knew how right you are._

Now that Sirius was acting normally, it was easier to function. Days went by quicker, until I could feel my bones shifting in their sockets, only slightly, as the face of the moon painted itself in the sky, illuminating the turrets and fields of home. It seemed that everything was back to normal, but I couldn't shake what had happened to me in our state of weird. I couldn't make my brain go back to normal, it was forever scarred, by muddy doggie paws, and Mercury eyes, and...and...arrogant berk-ness. Something had to be done about this.

Quick recap, I fancy Sirius, James is my ally, Peter is neither help nor hindrance, and Severus smells of jam. Now if you'll follow me back to the present, we've a party to attend.

**Thanks for the reviews! I originally promised myself that I wouldn't post part II until I got more of 'em. But hey, quality over quantity. Your kindness has earned you a chapter. **

**Okay, so I have something to admit. Chapter one was just thrown together and posted, this chapter and chapter three, are all lovely and organized and revised.**

**So I hope that makes things a bit better. **

**Does it only hurt your anticipation that I threw you back to the past instead of moving forward? **

**Ah, but I did already tell you that I'm a terrible person, didn't I? **


	3. Chapter 3

I helped set up for the party later, even though, as young strapping men, the only setting up that was really necessary was to move furniture out of the way to create a dancefloor - oh, and to _accio_ the liquor out of the dorm. We stood to admire our handiwork, and a house elf came into the dorm looking elated to see us.

"Mr. Potter!" It squealed "Mr. Black!"

"Hullo!" Sirius said kindly to the elf. He did so much complaining about the house elf at his parent's house that I had forgotten he could be so kind to them.

"Puery has brought snacks for your party, masters!"

"Uh - you didn't tell any of the teachers, did you?"

"Never, ." He put a little finger to his little lips "Puery knows not to say a word!"

"Good man!" James said. He pointed to the long table that would be serving as a bar. "Set everything just there."

"Yes master." The little elf said cheerfully.

"If only Kreacher could be more like that." Sirius said wistfully.

"Well surely Kreacher doesn't get paid." I pointed out.

"He'd never accept it." Sirius said. "He loves working for the family. He just hates _me_."

"I can hardly blame him." James said. "Knowing your exhibitionist ways, I'm certain he's been scarred for life."

"I never walk around my parents' house naked. The house would take the opportunity to curse me into sterility."

"Your house is clearly very wise." I said. Peter had disappeared to the table the food was on and James was the first to notice.

"Ooooiiii!" He yelled. "That. Is. For. To. Night." He punctuated every syllable with a limp-wristed slap to Peter's hand. And then Lily walked into the common room and James took to signing dumbly in order to prevent himself from saying anything stupid. He waved.

"Hello, toerag." Lily said. "Remus." She added. "Could I talk to you?"

"Yeah, of course." I said, and I followed her out of earshot.

"Um - this is embarrassing - I forgot the prefects password." She said, and her eyebrows drew close to her hairline and she turned just a little pink, yes, she clearly _was_ embarrassed.

"_JiggeryPokery." _I said in hushed tones, and before she could push a 'thank you' out of her soft full girl lips I said. "And before you thank me, I'd like to let you know, he's less of a toerag than you think." I gestured towards James. "He just tries too hard. Give him a chance, yeah?" She turned a bit redder.

"I - well - But he's a - I -" She took a deep breath and ran a hand over her face. "I'll dance with him tonight. _One_ dance. For you. Not for him."

"Thank you, Lily."

Every house threw parties. No house could throw a party that came even close to the condensed brilliance that is the Gryffindor party. They're wild, drunken, and dishy. Girls of all three accepted houses danced, skirts rolled up to upper-thigh, buttons undone, cleavage abound. I was trying to be attracted to them. I was unsuccessful. They looked brilliant, their curves hid secrets that I didn't understand, and considering my situation, I'd probably never understand. Boys artfully unbuttoned their already un-tucked shirts, and arranged their eyebrows in a way that betrayed their terror, and sauntered over to girls. I was lounging near the makeshift bar, at which Sirius was formulating all sorts of deadly concoctions to pour down the throats of party-goers. I was his #1 test-subject. My throat was willing but damaged after four or five rather large drinks.

"Is that-?" I thought he would spill the drink he was mixing. "Oh God, it is."

"What?" I had drunken enough to speak comfortably in unresolved sentence fragments.

"James and Lily." Sirius pointed out into the drunken crowd.

"Oh _my_." I said, and I couldn't restrain the bubble of laughter in my throat. "He looks like a suffocating fish!" I cried.

"Oh please." Sirius said folding his hands prayer-style and staring at the ceiling "_Please_ let Lily remember that in the morning."

"Please tell me you have a camera. We need evidence of this" I said.

"Would that I could, Moony, would that I could." Had I been more sober I would have told him that that was a grammatically incorrect answer. "How did he even get her to dance with him?"

"I performed a bit of_ JiggeryPokery._" I said ambiguously. He knew that was the password, Evans couldn't know that he knew, but he knew. He flashed a cheshire cat grin.

"Has he, er...?" I asked.

"Don't know, don't wanna know." Sirius barked.

"New drink." I said, after chugging down what was in my glass. Sirius filled it up.

"You're on a roll tonight." He chuckled.

"I haven't participated in one of these parties in how long?" He didn't answer so I added "Exactly, not wasting it." And threw back half of my large glass. "Shit." I said breathily. My throat burned. The alcohol permeated every molecule of my physiology. I turned to face Sirius.

"_You_. I need to tell you something."

"Shoot." He said furrowing his brow at the cases of Butterbeer that had been abandonned in favor of stronger drinks.

"I would like to spend a considerable amount of my allotted time in this castle with my mouth attatched to yours." Well that sentence got away from me. "Wait - that didn't come out right."

"Really? I thought it was perfect." Sirius sipped his drink, and his lips curled back from his teeth at the burn.

"What I meant was -"

"You fancy me. My charms are undeniable, and you sir -" He pointed an index finger at my face. "Are like an open book." My mouth was doing some sort of strange fish movement, that would have complimented James' dancing skills perfectly. _Okay_. I undoubtedly wanted this to be like a book. Bugger what I said earlier. This was what books refer to as an awkward silence, though they don't occur in books very often. I wanted him to be like some great literary hero, and just grab my tie and snog my face off. He hadn't even said that he reciprocated. How was I to know? That _bastard._

"Tick tock, mate." He finally said. I raised an eyebrow at him, confused. "You're _hopeless_. Your time. In this castle. It's _wasting_. And your mouth is still all the way over there." He waved a hand in my general direction.

"Oh I -_ Ohhh_. You lazy arse." I smiled. I stood up and went behind the table to him. He was taller than me, but with some maneuvering, I managed to get my face close to his. I kissed him softly on the lips, and for a few moments it was just that, a kiss. An awkward kiss. His hand moved between us, and clutched my tie (_finally_) pulling me against him. This was both the best and worst moment of my life. Simultaneously. I didn't know what to do. My body took over, one of my hands crawled up his shoulder and into his soft hair. There were tongues. And I must say, there was a shocking amount of teeth involved in this whole ordeal. Just when I had stopped being so nervous, when I had finally just let it happen, a loud "Oooooo" erupted around us. I wanted them to cheer. In my fantasies they cheered. Sirius turned his head, and I gazed dazedly at his bleary eyes.

"Don't like it, then leave!" He shouted. Girls were giggling. I hate girls, why must they giggle so frequently? James had stopped immitating a fish and was granting us a broad smile, and a corny thumbs-up. Sirius was still gripping my tie and for a moment, I considered how wrinkly it would be when he was done with it.

A few hours, and several very very nice SnogSessions later, the party had cleared away, leaving only us four. And Lily. James was shooting cleanliness out of his wand, because he was the only one that knew how, Sirius was shooting left over alcohol into the dorm, and Peter and I were rearranging furniture. Lily, the only one who could remember where things went, was instructing Peter and I. When all was back to it's normal state,we collapsed onto armchairs and sofas.

"Maybe you two shouldn't drink so much." Peter said giggling at Sirius and I, where we sat on the sofa. _The _sofa. Sirius was very quick to respond. "And why is_ that_?" He snapped.

"Well you wind up snogging each other, or have you forgotten already?" I knew right then that Sirius was either going to say something very rude, or do something very humiliating. He opted for the latter.

"You mean like this?" I tried. I really did. I tried to scurry away from him, but he got a hold of me anyway. (Read: I sat expectantly) Our teeth smacked together with a loud _clack_. This time we skipped the close-mouthed formalities, and moved straight into tongue-wars. That is, until we heard James burst out laughing, and Lily giggling. He pulled his face away from mine, which was not what I wanted to happen at all _thank you very much_.

"you mean you really - "

"Oh Merlin!" James howled. "I wish you coulda seen Pete's face. Bloody priceless." There was heat rising in my face.

"I'd ask if you were alright with it, but honestly I don't give a Hippogriff's arse." Sirius said smugly.

"It's - I guess it's alright." Peter said.

"Good." Sirius said decisively. "James?"

"I knew this would happen." And then he struck an awkward superhero pose. "I _made_ this happen." Lily looked at him like she had never seen him before.

"Oh, James that's...that's actually sweet." She said, and James looked like he was going to fall over from joy until she added "You're less of a toerag than I thought."

"Well that's something, I suppose." James sat back down, defeated.

"No, actually. It was Rem's beautiful articulation. Poetry, that was." Sirius said. "You could have your way with anyone."

"What did he say?" James asked quickly, looking like he wanted to cover Lily's ears so that he could use it later.

"Well, I for one, don't remember." I said quietly. In truth I remembered perfectly, I just found it rather embarrassing.

"It was -" And I shut Sirius up the only way I knew how: with my mouth.

In the end, I suppose it really wasn't like a book; it probably wasn't even very interesting. No tragedies, no bold heroics, and certainly no running off into the sunset. I'm starting to realize that that's a good thing. What it must be like to feel the pressure of _happily ever after_. We're not heroes, and we're not dramatic, and we don't have to try to be anything we're not. We're just two daft teenagers who like each other's faces and lips and brains. Maybe it's dramatic because we're both boys, but honestly we haven't gotten to the part where being a boy_ really _matters. _Yet_. Maybe one day I will fall in love with a girl, or a boy, and maybe I'll get married, but for now, for now I'm happy with Sirius. Remus and Sirius. Sirius and Remus. We're no Romeo and Juliet. Even if James is one helluva Friar Lawrence. That is, if Friar Lawrence had had a remarkably fit redheaded consort. But then, _that would be a whole nother love story entirely_.

I'm so happy. Not_ ever after. _Just happy. I'm happy that Sirius' hair smells like girly shampoo, while the rest of him smells like Quidditch pitch, and his cheek is a bit scratchy as he's forgotten to shave. That he's spilled a bit of butterbeer down his front, so _for once _I feel like he's more clumsy than I am. I'm happy that Lily is smiling at James for what seems like the first time ever. That Peter is awkwardly forcing small talk, and that we're all laughing in turns, making short sounds like crackling fire. I'm happy Right here, right now, at 3:30 in the morning, in the Gryffindor common room, I am _so_ ecstatically _happy_.

_**"But then, that would be a whole nother love story entirely... "**_

**Should I? Would you hate me if I did?**_** I **_**might hate me if I did, but I still want to. **

**I've lain a few seeds of foreshadowing, so let me know, would you like to see a companion fic of Lily/James? **

**I hope so. 'Cause uh...I might've already started it. It would also show a bit of the future of Remus and Sirius.**

**I really really hope you enjoyed this, I'm actually kinda sad that it's over. **

**Lovveee yooouuu **


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